If you look up the Armenian word for Settle you’ll find բնակություն հաստատել (pronounced Bnagootiun Hasdadel), which literally means to establish one’s abode. Of course, in the context of this blog, settle has the pretty much the same definition. So why introduce the Armenian word? Simply to impress you with my increasing Armenian vocabulary, and to illustrate that occasionally Armenian words can be very long.

Its been almost three weeks since I arrived in Armenia to begin attending the Kevorkian Seminary at the Mother See of Holy Etchmiadzin. Upon my arrival, I stayed at my friend Peter Abajian’s house in Yerevan. It’s newly built condo which sits atop the northern slope of the Yerevan Valley which looks out on to the center of the city.

When I arrived my goal was to settle in, which included setting up my cell phone service, opening a bank account, starting Armenian lessons, determining my course schedule, and moving to a residence somewhere in or near the Mother See of Holy Etchmiadzin. That’s five things.

To my understanding classes would start at the beginning of September. From the day I arrived that gave me a little over a week to accomplish my settling in tasks, which I thought was would tight, but adequate.

Punchline: It took three weeks instead of one.

The first three tasks took one week. I’m very pleased with my 3G cell service via VivaCell, I opened a non-resident bank account at HSBC, and lastly I began Armenian lessons with a private tutor. I like the tutor’s teaching style, and I’m definitly learning a lot from her.

The Two Remaining Tasks

The last two items took the remaining two weeks. The people from the Seminary weren’t available when I arrived due to summer vacation, and when they were available they weren’t ready with the full course catalog, therefore I couldn’t be assigned my classes. Then I learned that classes were to start on September 7th, and not on the 1st. Subsequently, they were postponed from the 7th to the 10th. I had nine free and unaccounted for days.

It had been decided sometime ago that Annie would stay in America until November because of work, therefore I had thought that it would be best if I could stay in or near Holy Etchmiadzin, the monestary where my seminary is located. The school is about a 30 min. drive from the capital, and being alone and without a car, I didn’t see any point in commuting everyday. Additionally, I relished the opportunity to live in the monestary and be a part of that environment.

In order to arrange this I had to meet with His Holiness Karekin II, the Patriarch of All Armenians whose catholicosate situated at Holy Etchmiadzin. I needed his permission. Of course he’s a very busy man, so getting an opportunity to see him was not as easy as popping my head in his office and asking if he’s available. He’s also been sick over the past couple weeks, which made it harder to get an audience.

A week and a half after I arrived I was able to meet with him, and he gladly granted me permission to live in the monastery, but in order to determine which room I should get I would need to meet with another bishop who’s in charge of that sort of thing. That day, and for the next five days this bishop was unavailable due to his travelling schedule.

Eventually I was assigned a room in the deacon’s quarters which is on top of the cafeteria. Today was move-in-day, and despite the fact that a chunk of the flooring is missing and the faucet runs 24/7, I’m excited to be staying here. This is because every morning you get to wake up and see an amazing vision of the most sacred building in the Armenian Apostolic Church.

The Waiting

So as I’ve explained it took me three weeks to accomplish five things. So what did I do the rest of the time? I was able to do some pretty fun social things with friends like see a couple outdoor musical performances (One was called “Duke Ellington Meets Vivaldi”), and go to Dilijan for a birthday party.

I was able to explore the city on foot. I have been familier with Yerevan for a long time, but it was nice to experiance it at my own pace. Being alone, I spent much of my time making up fictional Armenian dialogs in my mind, trying to anticipate future conversations so my brain would be ready to serve up sophisticated sentences. These sentances almost invariably never escaped the confines of my mind though. When does this cross the line into hearing voices?

I also had time to catch up on several projects which required my attention.

However, in the end, I spent a lot of time waiting. In fact, I can’t remember a time in my adult life when I’ve had so little to do. Nowhere to be, no one to see, nothing being expected from me.

This might sound nice, but for awhile this was pretty frightening. This was a foreign condition for me.

Having value

About a week ago I thought of one my favorite spiritual writers, Fr. Henry Nouwen. In one of his books, Spiritual Reflections (I think), he wrote that one of his greatest struggles in life was accepting his value. He explained that we often wrap ourselves in the notion that the more we produce the more valuable we are to society, and furthermore the more worthy we are of love. The love of the people we care for, and God’s love. The downside to this is that when we cease to produce we become worthless, and unworthy of love. In fact, this becomes perspective becomes pointless when we realize that God’s love, or true love, isn’t something which can even be earned, but instead is something which is always given as a gift, a grace. So the challenge we face is to understand that we have value by virtue our creation, and that we must accept God’s love even when we don’t feel worthy.

One of the reasons that I decided to come to Armenia to continue my education was because I knew that I would be completly useless here. Without having a complete grasp of the language (yet), and being occupied with my studies I knew I would be left alone to do as I saw fit. I also knew that I’m someone, like Henry Nouwen was, who is attracted to work, and is always looking for an opportunity to prove or validate myself through the products of my labor. I’ve always known this was not right, and I’ve always wanted to change that aspect of myself.

I think that without knowing it I’ve learned my first lesson in Armenia, and it was before classes even started! Part of settling in didn’t just mean establishing my abode, but it also meant that I had to adapt myself to this new lifestyle. A lifestyle thats okay with waiting, and offers no shame in taking three weeks to do five things.

I’m now sitting in my room, waiting for my classes to start. I’ve been told they’ll start tomorrow… maybe. If they don’t, perhaps I’ll go for a walk.