I know the exact moment that it happened, sort of. I was sitting with the Primate of our Diocese, Abp. Hovnan Derderian, in his backyard. He had graciously invited me over to his house to discuss issues relating to our Diocese’s youth organization. I had some months earlier decided to leave a decent position at an organization that advocates for Armenian issues at the state and federal level in order to return to school. Honestly, I wasn’t sure what I was going to do with my life, but I knew that I didn’t want to do what I was doing before. Casually, while we were enjoying thick Armenian coffee, he hinted that the Priesthood could be a possible vocation for me. Without thinking twice, I agreed.

He knew that I knew that it was part of his job to suggest the Priesthood as a possible vocation to as many capable faithful young Armenian men as he could in the hope that at least one of them would express interest. Improbably, I did. He seemed a little surprised at first (its almost always the sort of offer that the recipient sheepishly rebuffs), but he became excited at the prospect, and although I attempted to play it cool, I was both ecstatic and frightened of the door that was opened in front of me.

To have some context to our perspective on the matter its important to understand that American-born priests of the Armenian Church are rare. How rare? You can roughly measure the elapsed time between ordinations in Summer Olympics.

I was truly blessed that I was unconditionally supported in this decision by my family, friends, and my then girlfriend (now wife), Annie. This was the beginning of a journey that is already in its 7th year, and ongoing.

The Question’s Answer

What you’ve just read is the driest and least effective version of an answer to a question that I get all the time. It can be paraphrased as follows, “How is that you came to want to become a priest?”

Answering that question has never been easy, nor has answering its present tense cousin, “Why do you want to be a priest?” There is still a small portion of people that believe that the answer must have something to with waking up in the middle of the night having heard the Voice of God in a dream. This did not happen to me, and I haven’t met anyone to whom it has. Instead, the real answer, as perhaps all real answers about vocations are want to be, is complicated and continues to evolve over time.

I’d like to share with everyone my answer to this question over a series of blogs that are both reflection and exploration on what the Priesthood is and my relationship with it as personal calling.

A Delayed Realization

Perhaps the best way to begin a discussion about the Priesthood is to remember one of the first times that I considered it as calling that belonged to those who could be found outside the walls of my church.

In an essay I wrote on this very topic, I recalled a letter that I wrote to my father while visiting Armenia for the first time in 2001, three years prior to accepting my Primate’s unexpected offer. It would remain unfinished and he would never read it, because soon after returning from Armenia he passed away as the result of a sudden stroke. This letter gave me some insight as to how it was that I came to internalize the priestly calling as a result of my upbringing. In the essay I wrote,

In preparing for my recent move to Armenia to attend the Kevorkian Seminary at the Mother See of Holy Etchmiadzin, I happened across a letter which I wrote to my father while in Armenia on the occasion of the 1700th Anniversary of Armenia’s Acceptance of Christianity. This letter was left unfinished, and he would never read it, as shortly after I wrote it he passed away. Upon rereading it, I was suprised to see something I wrote long before I had begun to consider the Priesthood. I wrote to him, ‘If you were a bit more outwardly spiritual, I would say that you missed your calling. You should have been a Priest!’

Therefore, my first inspiration to pursue the Priesthood was my father, by virtue of his character and example. My second inpiration is my Mother, who has diligantly always put others before herself, and has always supported me.

This is definitely how I feel that my calling was nurtured. However, over time and through experience my sense of the calling matured. My understanding of the nature of my commitment and my relationship with it has grown unto where I find myself presently, in my second year of seminary.

In my next blog I’ll discuss what a Priest actually is from a theological point of view. In other words, what is it that I’ve gotten my self into.